FUN

Submitted December 3, 2004

FUN with Funerals ?

by Matushka Barbara Bruce

Sectarian funerals have evolved into something called a "Celebration of Life". Recently, we attended the 'funeral' of a non-Orthodox friend. As we sat down beside other non-Orthodox relatives, one stricken woman, pointed and hissed, "I can't believe it... her COFFIN is in here!" She sat back in shock.

The service began. There were anecdotes, eulogies, and a rousing rendition of a hymn keyed two octaves too high. Nobody, (including the Protestants) in the room even knew it. Someone in conclusion played a flute solo.

Personally, I find the Celebration of Life Service very empty. Rarely is there mention of the Resurrection, or the Future Life.

Recently, a favorite old schoolteacher of mine passed away. His Celebration of Life was more like a "Celebrity Roast". It seemed that the minister tried to do everything possible to make this funeral a "fun" experience for us all. Perhaps he secretly longed to perform standup comedy. I don't know. It was however, a rude awakening for some people to actually see an urn present. He had passed away nearly two months before, and only now was there a "service" for him. It had been inconvenient for the family to attend to things sooner, as... "He's just getting cremated after all."

The Celebration of Life is geared specifically for the "family and friends" and not for the reposed. The "wake" has become the funeral service. People can't bear the "grave" concept of our mortality, or the reality of our life's final destination. Who wants to think about the end of the line?

In this homogenized unchristian society, burials are few. Most people now prefer cremations. Our culture is strongly influenced by eastern unchristian traditions... Zen/Neopagan/Masonic/etc. Cremation is a most prominent tradition of these sects.

Many eastern religions/philosophies teach that our body should be burnt, to release our soul which is bad... in hope that we will be reincarnated into a better body.

Also, the ecologically minded believe cremation is much better for the earth. Less space. Cleaner. No decay. It's cheaper too! Most cemeteries are now called "Burial PARKS!" The 'word' cemetery itself, is a major faux-pas.

The last year my mom was alive, she was in very poor health. The Annunciation that year fell on a Sunday. Mom asked as usual after our priest's sermon. I told her that on this Joyous Feast Day, the Annunciation, is celebrated both on earth and in Heaven! Mom narrowed one eye at me, in what I teased her "Ex-Protestant-Baggage Squint". "But HOW do we KNOW this?" mom asked. Then she declared in a very loud voice... "I wish that when I get to heaven I get to SEE that!"

Exactly one year later, on the third day of mom's repose, it was also the day of her funeral, AND the Annunciation! Traditionally, it is also on the third day when the soul is brought before God. So, she indeed did get to see... Everything!

When my 100 year old grandmother was unconscious and dying, she was visited by a relative who is neopagan. Another family member watched her try to perform Reiki over my unconscious grandmother. My grandma immediately became very agitated, and even though her eyes were shut, she knowingly swatted away the hands wherever they attempted to "channel" above her.

Later, the neopagan absolutely refused to come to the church for the funeral, because, as she told another relative, "I just CAN'T enter THAT building!!"

Because my grandmother was 89 years old when she was baptized into Orthodoxy, she did not get to know some Orthodox practices, such as using a prayer rope. When I was sitting with her while she was dying, I removed my prayer rope from my wrist and put it into her hands, so she could hold it. I had never used one in front of her. Immediately, she began fingering the prayer rope, in her left hand, one knot at a time, as if she had used one all her life! Then, when she had finished the 33 knots, she weakly handed it back to me.

Once, she looked above her bed with great wonder and asked me if I "could see the angels". I could not, and probably would have fainted if I had, but she wept tears of joy.

How beautiful an Orthodox Funeral is for BOTH the reposed and those remaining! What spiritual solace there is in a panikhida, and prayer for those departed in the Lord! What sweet joy it is to sing 'Christ is Risen' to our deceased loved ones at the cemetery on Pascha! One can almost hear them singing it back! How comforting it is to sit by the green grave of your loved one, in quiet prayer.

The week after Pascha, at Radonitsa, after Liturgy, the parish visits the cemetery. The priest blesses the graves of those departed in the Lord, and it is usually the first hot day of the year.



Volume 6 Number 49 - Tuesday, December 7th, 2004	A Publication of the ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN LAITY